I am a firm believer in personal space. When someone (especially a stranger) is standing too close to me (like in line someplace) I tend to move further away from them. Then said butthole moves closer to me still. I remember standing in a grocery store line and I could feel some guy's hot, putrid breath on the back of my neck, so I moved forward, and so did he. After that he SPAT on the back of my neck as he spoke. I wanted to stab him in the eyeball with a sharp pencil, but I didn't. Instead I went home, doused myself in alcohol and took a very long, very hot shower. Eww!!! Just eww!
Next, I remember being in a library and some kid (pre-teen) invaded my personal space and farted. I could not believe that some rude kid came close to me and floated an air biscuit that resembled some very elderly person who uses Ben-Gay. I wanted to grab one of their arms and one of their legs and toss them into a pile of books. LOL. But, I didn't. :-/
Lastly, I went shopping with D.F.H. (Dear Future Hubby) and we both had to use the public restroom of a very high-end department store. Well, when I came out, D.F.H. was ready to go and had a really strange look on his face. I asked him what happened. He said that when he went into the men's bathroom, that apparently some guy had diarrhea because there was a trail that led to the corner of the bathroom. And in that corner sat a poopey pair of boxers. And this time I laughed. Especially when D.F.H. told the very regal woman who was working there what had happened. She was in disbelief, so I guess she believed when she took a gander.
So, next time I go into public during a busy shopping season, I'll be sure to take my friend with me. Here's his picture:
