Monday, June 4, 2007

Creepshow 3

Hello kiddies! Just from reading the title I'm sure that you can gauge my excitement when I saw this in the video store, right? Er, well I lost that enthusiasm as I watched this overwhelmingly boring piece of crap. I should have known not to rent it when I did not see Stephen King or George Romero any where on the label---I have committed a most grievous sin.

As you may remember, Creepshow I (1982-my favorite) was directed by George Romero, and the stories and the screenplay were written by Stephen King. Creepshow II (1987-love this as well) was directed by Michael Gornick and Stephen King provided the stories, while George Romero wrote the screenplay. So when I saw a 3rd installment on the shelf at my local video store, I was soooo giddy!

Creepshow 3 sucked---it just did. It was directed by husband and wife, writing/directing/producing team, Jim Dudelson and Ana Clavell. I read that they also "created" a sequel for "Day of the Dead." For the love of God, Hollywood needs to stop these people! I won't give a spoiler alert because the movie will spoil itself. I'll briefly go over the five horrible vignettes as they appear in order on the film:

Creepshow 3:

"Alice" - The story of a bratty teenager who hates her mad scientist neighbor who created some stupid universal remote that can bend time and space. When her dad presses the button, she ends up with an African-American family. He presses it again, and oh no, her family is now Hispanic. Sounds racist and stupid. (It goes down hill from there if that is possible)

"Rachel, the Call Girl" - The story of a serial killer call girl who gets a call to meet up with another killer who happens to be a vampire. (Ooooh! Woweee!)

"Professor Dayton's Wife" -The story of the mad scientist from the first story who decides to get married. He is a prankster and two of his students think that he made his bride-to-be, and they dismember her, but she's a real woman. (**Sigh**)

"The Haunted Dog" -The story of a partying, butthole of a doctor who drops a hotdog on the ground and then gives it to a homeless guy who was hungry. The homeless guy dies from the contaminated hotdog but doesn't haunt the doctor until the end of the vignette. (WTF??)

"The Radio" -The story of a part-time security guard who allows a radio to tell him to kill a man when the guy discovers he stole money from him. (Blah!)

All of the stories were supposedly tied together somehow---they were, but quite badly. The "directors" apparently have a tendency to use alot of prostitutes, pimps, and homeless people in their stories. Maybe they couldn't think of anyone else to use? Don't rent this crap! EVER!!

14 comments:

Gwyneth Bolton said...

Sounds bad.... really bad....

Gwyneth

December/Stacia said...

"Rachel, the Call Girl"??

That was the best title they could come up with? I can think of a dozen better titles for a story about a murderous call girl and a vampire. I'm sure you can too. Lack of imagination like that really irks me.

I don't think any horror film will ever top The Changeling for me though. :-)

Naomi said...

"Alice" sounds completely absurd. They all do, really, but that one sounds particularly inane.

For me, nothing beats the Friday 13th series. Although if you want schlocky, cheesey horror, you don't need to go further than the Leprechaun series.

Tempest Knight said...

Hehehe! Funny titles!

Demon Hunter said...

Gwyneth,
It's worse than you think! :*)

December,
My seven-year-old cousin can come up a better title than that. That movie sucked. I don't think I've seen that movie. I'll have to check it out! :*) Welcome to the fold! :*)

Naomi,
All of the vignettes were stupid. I watch Friday the 13th the series on the Chiller Channel. Don't like it as much as I used to though! :*)

Tempest,
Funny titles and stupid movie. I cannot stress that enough...lol.

WandererInGray said...

Yeowch! *winces*

December/Stacia said...

*gasp* You haven't seen The Changeling?

Go rent it now. It's not gory, but really, really creepy and scary.

Demon Hunter said...

I'm still not sure if I've seen it, December, but I will have to rent it and see.

Thomas Kingsley Troupe said...

I'm with December. The Changeling is probably one of the scariest movies ever made. Ever. It's right up there with Jacob's Ladder.

I had to laugh out loud during your review of Creepshow 3. The 'butthole of a doctor' line did me in.

Nicely done.

Demon Hunter said...

Wander,
Yes, it's that bad!

Thomas,
Thank you. But if you ever see this crap, you'll agree about the doctor and the entire movie. It was horrible. I really have to check out the Changeling. My scariest movie was The Exorcist. Loved it! :*)

Will said...

I don't know why, but your description of Creepshow 3 reminds me of this one Goosebumps movie I used to watch as a kid ("The Mask 2" or something) The acting was bad, the effects were horrible...it was great!

Demon Hunter said...

Will,
I actually liked Goosebumps as a kid. Creepshow 3 is on a whole different level. Goosebumps is for children; Creepshow 3 is for the garbage! :*)

Chesya said...

Wow. But, honestly, who dies from a contaminated hotdog dropped on the ground? What did it fall in, poison?

Demon Hunter said...

Chesya,
The idiot directors didn't even make it clear what happened to the hotdog. They made it seem like the homeless guy just choked to death. There was no poison, just concrete. If he died from eating something off the ground, then ALOT of people would be dead---especially kids! The entire thing was not even plausible. It was a complete waste of film...