Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Rant

Are there things that people do in public that just annoy you? Well, I'll just rant about a few that are just sickening to me. And that have happened during a busy Christmas season. :-)

I am a firm believer in personal space. When someone (especially a stranger) is standing too close to me (like in line someplace) I tend to move further away from them. Then said butthole moves closer to me still. I remember standing in a grocery store line and I could feel some guy's hot, putrid breath on the back of my neck, so I moved forward, and so did he. After that he SPAT on the back of my neck as he spoke. I wanted to stab him in the eyeball with a sharp pencil, but I didn't. Instead I went home, doused myself in alcohol and took a very long, very hot shower. Eww!!! Just eww!

Next, I remember being in a library and some kid (pre-teen) invaded my personal space and farted. I could not believe that some rude kid came close to me and floated an air biscuit that resembled some very elderly person who uses Ben-Gay. I wanted to grab one of their arms and one of their legs and toss them into a pile of books. LOL. But, I didn't. :-/

Lastly, I went shopping with D.F.H. (Dear Future Hubby) and we both had to use the public restroom of a very high-end department store. Well, when I came out, D.F.H. was ready to go and had a really strange look on his face. I asked him what happened. He said that when he went into the men's bathroom, that apparently some guy had diarrhea because there was a trail that led to the corner of the bathroom. And in that corner sat a poopey pair of boxers. And this time I laughed. Especially when D.F.H. told the very regal woman who was working there what had happened. She was in disbelief, so I guess she believed when she took a gander.

So, next time I go into public during a busy shopping season, I'll be sure to take my friend with me. Here's his picture:


42 comments:

Chris Eldin said...

"floated an air biscuit" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've NEVER heard that expression! It's hilarious!

Funny rant.
:-)

Charles Gramlich said...

ahh, the joys of interacting with the public. I'd just finished a very good meal at a fine restruant not long ago when I went into the bathroom. As I was there a man came in and proceeded to throw up everywhere. Oh yeah.

Robin said...

Demon Hunter, I can't believe I haven't found your blog until now. I'm in heaven. The diarrhea story rocks! In our office the cleaning people only come once a week, so if anyone poops all over the floor, we clean it. That would have been a major bummer.

If you have a chance, come over and read "I'm gross and I touch diarrhea" (old post). You'll enjoy it! I'm adding you to my blogroll asap. (Air biscuit. Hahahaha!)

Rick said...

After reading this, I'm going to stay inside til next year!

Darius T. Williams said...

I feel the same way u feel - send ur friend my way too!

miz-cynic said...

lol at the friend u wana take with u to the ladies.funny i always tot u were a guy.

Thomas Kingsley Troupe said...

Too funny! It just proves my age-old adage: Most people suck.

dejanae said...

ugghhhhh
at the shitty boxers
lmao
no for real
thats beyond disgusting


i need my damn space too
subway rides will be the death of me
How come i neer get stuck with a cute guy
no
i gotta get the old, stink ass, crusty, lecherous old men

Miladysa said...

Ewwwwww! On all acounts apart from the dear critter in the photo!

Michelle H. said...

Well, at least when I see the beady eyes I'll know what it is that's peeking out of your purse in the checkout lane.

*police megaphone* "Ma'am, please put the loaded critter down!"

Stewart Sternberg said...

The issue is that most of humanity isn't.

Heff said...

I'm pretty sure that's the gopher from CaddyShack.

Demon Hunter said...

Chris,
That phrase came from the movie, WEIRD SCIENCE. I was an impressionable little girl. LOL.;-)

Charles,
Oh no. Usually puke doesn't bother me, but I would have been a little grossed out that time.

Robin,
Your post was hilarious. I love your blog as well. :-)

Rick,
It's bad every year. Come on out and take a chance. ;-) LOL.

Darius,
Sure, you can borrow him. :-)

Miz-cynic,
100% woman, dear. :-)

Thomas,
I think most people are decent, but when they're gross, they are awful...lol. :-)

Dejanae,
You get the old, stink men? Subways suck. :-)

Miladysa,
It was terrible. :-/

Michelle,
LOL. Too funny. :-)

Stewart,
Isn't what?

Heff,
I'd tell ya, but I'd have to kill ya. ;-) He was out of work, and needed a job, so I gave him one.
:-D

Sidney said...

I'm a mostly online shopper these days for reasons just like those.

Afrobabe said...

Hahahahhahahahahaha..

yep, I recently got a gospel cd that said something about every body being in a road rage and he went home and listened to some music...cos David played music that spoke to Saul's heart and that was the kind of music he needed,...

Babes...i think you need a lil song...

Afrobabe said...

yeah...I also tot u were a guy...

writtenwyrdd said...

an air biscuit? Never heard that one before!

I can't stand people who talk on cell phones in restaurants. They tend to talk really loudly, louder than they need to for a regular convo.

And I also hate people who do not make their children behave in stores and most particularly restaurants. People, if you kids don't behave, you need to check them immediately or LEAVE.

laughingwolf said...

ack... and people wonder why i spend so much time AWAY from other so-called folks...

all the things you mentioned have happened to me, too...

and i REALLY hate it when they're obviously ill, yet proceed to COUGH in your face, the slimeballs GRRRRRR

Carleen Brice said...

The Police said: Don't stand so close to me. I HATE that!

laughingwolf said...

season's blessings to you and yours, m'dear :D

Lana Gramlich said...

*ROFL @ the air biscuit.* I hear you on personal space. When people do that to me, I turn sideways & lean toward them, which tends to express my displeasure & force them to back off at the same time. I would also have no qualms about requesting that someone not spit on my neck, but I'm anti-social that way.
Fortunately neither of us has any need nor desire to go out during the holidays & the days leading up to them, so we avoid a lot of the insanity & stress that comes with the "joy" of the season.

Paris said...

Don't even get me started on the evil that humans do. I work in retail, and do I have some stories for you. Like the toxic fumes coming from some guy on aisle 4 that I walked right into and nearly died. Or the man who purchased 2 enemas, and 3 bottles of citrate of magnesium and then went to the restroom on my shift!!!!!!!! Yeah, I understand completely!

Paris said...

I'm borrowing the gopher to guard the restrooms for the next two days. Happy Holidays to All!!!

Ello said...

Hey where's my comment? I had a really funny one. Oh man!

Well in any case, Merry Christmas and have a wonderful new year!

Peace,
E

Miladysa said...

Merry Christmas to YOU and Yours Tyhitia x

TravelDiva said...

LMAO. That kid did not pass gas in your space. That is a riot!!!

Yes, I actually had an incident this morning. Me and another woman were standing in CVS perusing the gift card selection. This chick just barges in front of us and starts flipping the little sliders looking for an itunes card like we weren't even there. I was stunned for a second and then I reached around her rude behind and flipped it back over and said, excuse me, I was looking first. And she said, "well." But her rude behind moved on; and the other lady said thank you.

TravelDiva said...

And Happy Holidays lady!

The Anti-Wife said...

Happy Holidays!

Demon Hunter said...

Sidney,
I understand why. :-) But for some reason, I like to shop in stores. I don't shop online. ;-)

Afrobabe,
Maybe because of some of the things I've said. :-)

Written,
Rotten kids are the worse. It annoys me too! ;-)

Laughing Wolf,
I know. It sucks. Happy holidays to you too! :-)

Carleen,
Exactly. I need my space. :-)

Lana,
For some reason, I still love being out in the madness...lol. Sans the rudeness. :-)

Paris,
No killing customers this year. I mean it! ;-)

Ello,
Merry Christmas to you too and Happy New Year! :-)

Miladysa,
Merry Christmas to you too and Happy New Year! :-)

Travel Diva,
That's great you put her in check. Happy Holidays to you too! :-) When is the big day? ;-)

AW,
Happy holidays to you too. :-)

Tekoa said...

Ummm eww to the guy with the poopie pants!!!

December/Stacia said...

Ugh. I get that people-standing-right-on-top-of-me thing here all the time. It drives me crazy. And yeah, I try to step away and they come closer. One of these days I'm going to snap, I swear.

Merry Christmas Tyhitia! :-)

freemanpress said...

I'm with you on the personal space. I usually put my finger in their chest and push them back. I've seen the same wild shits drawers in the bathroom too. It's more common than you think. Wild Shits can break out anywhere

Smarty Jones said...

I know I'm late, but I'm LMAO @ this post.
OK, I'm totally with you on the personal space issue. I don't trust anyone and I don't like anyone other than my immediate fam and a past or present boo in my immediate space. It's just who I am.
As for the nasty ass person in the high end department store, (in my best Flavor Flav voice) WA-OW!

Miladysa said...

Happy New Year x

laughingwolf said...

happy new year to you and yours, m'dear t... :x

Naomi said...

First of all: EEWWWWW!

Secondly: Happy new year!

Mista Jaycee said...

Been There! Probally be there again tommorrow! LOL
Jaycee

Demon Hunter said...

Tekoa,
Ewww is right. :-)

December,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too. I have to e-mail you. :-) My life has been hectic! :-)

Freeman,
LOL. You can't go around touching folks...lol. I would just ask them to move politely. :-)

Smarty,
Personal space is sacred. People kill me with their rudeness. Grrr. :-)

Miladysa,
Happy New Year to you too. :-)

Laughing Wolf,
Happy New Year. I'll be by soon.:-)

Naomi,
Happy New Year to you too. :-)

Mista Jaycee,
Welcome. :-) The craziness sucks, doesn't it. :-)

Caspar608 said...

YOU'RE SOOOOOOOOOO OVERDUE FOR A POSTING,

GET A MOVE ON THERE MS. DEMONHUNTER!!!!!!!!!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

rant all u want just have a blessed 2009

David L. McAfee said...

That is really, really nasty.

BTW - can you tell the lady at the dept store that I'd like my boxers back :P

Demon Hunter said...

Cas,
I'm back. ;-)

Torrence,
You too! :-)

David,
Yeah. I'll give her a call for you. LOL. ;-)